A CALL TO RELIGIOUS LIFE?

When we’re trying to discern God’s will for us, sometimes it can feel pretty confusing. For some people it’s simple, and clarity is easily found. For most people, finding God’s will can be difficult and agonizing.

“When did you know? When did you first think about religious life?” This is a frequent question. The answer can be as varied as the people asked. Some Sisters knew as a child; others, when they were in high school or college. Sometimes the thought comes from something read that leads to serious consideration, or some experience that brings about deep reflection. It can be a thought like a bolt of lightning, or one that simply comes in the midst of some ordinary day-to-day task. It can come from words heard at Mass or some event that shakes their lives. Considering religious life can come through seeing the example of dedicated religious men and women, through the innocent question of a child, or the question of a parishioner, priest, Sister, or family member: “Have you ever thought about being a religious?”

When someone first becomes aware of the possibility of a call to religious life, there can be any number of emotions: joy, dread, peace, uncertainty, excitement, disbelief, awe, doubt, shyness, denial, resistance… A mixture of feelings isn’t unusual and none of them are wrong. They lead us to set out on our journey to go deeper.

Even though it may be confusing, God is right there with us and will lead us through it all. Sometimes we make discerning harder than it needs to be. God has a plan and He will get you through the confusion. Discernment is an adventure of discovery. Be patient. The Lord will calm the sea.

Do you really want to get to the bottom of the situation? Continue reading. Continue searching.

“You did not choose Me; I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last.” (Jn 15:16)

SOME QUESTIONS TO SERIOUSLY PONDER

Even before tackling the question of discovering your vocation, there are some fundamental principles that need to be in place. Taking time to reflect to be sure we’re thinking rightly is indispensable. These are some questions to ponder, to explore, to dig into more deeply.

What do you really want most of all? What do you truly seek? Someone who is all?

How do you think of God? How do you see, understand Him? Have you come to see God as He truly is – an all-loving God from whom love flows to you?

Do you know how much God loves you? He gave all He had for you, holding nothing back. His love for you took Him to the cross. You are His beloved and He delights in you! Do you know this truth in your heart, in the core and in every fiber of your being?

Do you realize that God desires only what is for your good?
Do you understand that God desires you to be deeply happy, not only in the next life, but to be full of joy now? Read Christ’s prayer at the Last Supper in St. John’s Gospel; he prayed that His joy may be yours and that your joy may be complete. God wants us to be truly happy, filled with joy, and He wants this even more than we do!

Are you convinced that God has a purpose for you in life? A mission that you are meant to fill? There is something that He wants you to do in this life, some need which you are meant to meet. There are others who count on you uncovering God’s path for you. This is where your true, lasting happiness can be found.

It can be scary, but ask the Lord: “What is Your will for me?”

THE BIG QUESTION: “HOW DO I KNOW?”

Very often God’s invitation is gentle. Hints are given here and there that can be recognized if you take time to reflect on your life. God calls whomever He desires, and in whatever way he wishes.

Following are only some possible indicators of a POTENTIAL vocation to religious life that you should reflect on which might help you decide whether to engage in a sincere discernment process.

God might be calling you to Himself as a religious if you:

• have a simple natural inclination toward the religious life
• have a desire for a religious vocation together with the impression that God is calling you to his service
• have a growing attraction for prayer and the things of God in general
• have a serious interest in a deep relationship with God; a desire to be more closely united with Him, to learn to live entirely for Him
• read Scripture and desire to be a faithful disciple
• experience the emptiness of the world and of its insufficiency to satisfy your soul
• have a longing to offer oneself and abandon all for the love of Jesus Christ
• have a longing for God’s glory
• have a realization of the value of immortal souls and a desire to cooperate in their salvation
• find that the thought of religious life brings you happiness
• have a desire to make reparation for sin
• have a desire to devote your life to obtain the conversion of sinners
• are active in your parish, youth group, or other things that support spiritual growth
• are drawn to service and are generous with your time and talents
• like spending time with those who have dedicated themselves to God
• experience a thought about a religious vocation that comes to mind again and again, even when you pray NOT to have a vocation!
• other people have asked you if you’ve thought about being a Sister

How do you know God is calling you to religious life? No one can actually answer that question for you. Only you can. And it can only be answered well through an authentic process of discernment in which you are attentive to the working of the Holy Spirit.

WHAT GETS IN THE WAY?

Sometimes people called by God to the religious life don’t even begin the discernment process. They’re stuck before taking one step forward. It you’ve been hesitant up to this point, it’s important to recognize what might be holding you back and to take time to reflect on the truth of the matter. Different people have different struggles and fears. It’s important to discover your hidden fears and other obstacles, to name them, and to face them head on. Gaining understanding, learning truth, and recognizing what’s really going on in your heart, will make the road you travel more clear. If any of the following obstacles are true for you, it would be helpful for you to find someone with experience and who will be honest with you – your spiritual director, a priest or Sister, or another wise guide – and talk over your concerns with them. This will assist you to address obstacles that may be holding you back and dispel worries.

The following, which are not listed in any particular order and are not meant to be exhaustive, are common fears, excuses and misconceptions, and they’re all understandable. If any of these apply to you, you’re not alone. Any of these things can come up when the possibility of a religious vocation presents itself.

I don’t think I would make a good sister; I don’t have the right temperament.
What makes you think so? Because you’re too outgoing and fun-loving? Because you’re so independent? Because you think you’re too shy to live a communal life? Doesn’t God choose whomever He wishes?

I’m afraid of being called to religious life.
Because God’s plans don’t match you plans and dreams? Do you believe you will be miserable if you follow God’s plan for you? Because you have an unreal view of religious life?

I’m afraid I’ll be bored in religious life.
Because you think the life of a religious is monotonous and boring? Do you really know what it’s like? Do you presume it is boring just because there is a routine and regular rhythm to the religious life?

I’m afraid I’ll discern to enter and later discover I was wrong.
Because you’ve seen it happen? Do you believe there’s a stigma attached? Are you expecting an absolute guarantee? Did Mary know God’s entire plan when she said “yes” to God at the Annunciation? Are you willing to engage in a good, sincere, and intentional discernment process to discover God’s will? If so, do you believe that God will bless you, no matter what? Do you have the ability to take risks and trust the God who loves you and wants you to find your vocation more than you do? Are you convinced that if you put your trust in God, He will lead you where he wants you to be?

I don’t want to leave my family.
Do you think leaving one’s family is unique entering religious life? Isn’t it true that for mature adults, no matter what vocation they’re called to, there’s always a certain amount of letting go of your family that is required? It is usually very hard to leave you family, but do you believe God is always present with you and will give His grace at difficult times?

I’m afraid I’ll fail.
Because you’re worried you’ll “mess up”? Not measure up? Is your idea of religious life too idealistic? Do you consider the religious Sisters to be perfect, to be saints? Do you realize that they’re human beings, with weaknesses and struggles just like everyone else? Are you relying too much on yourself and not trusting God to lead you?

I’m afraid I’ll be lonely.
Do you suppose someone married or single doesn’t experience loneliness? Have you ever experienced loneliness? Do you realize that the meaning of our life comes from making a sincere gift of self in love, no matter what the vocation is? Do you understand that loneliness has to do with HOW we live our vocations; that loneliness and being unfulfilled come from not learning to make a sincere gift of self?

I’m afraid of losing my identity and individuality.
Do you imagine that everyone in a religious community is alike? Are you aware that your uniqueness is a gift and your growth in holiness will magnify your individuality, not diminish it; it will make it more truly you, not less?

I’m afraid to let go.
What are you afraid of losing – friends, material things, independence? Because it’s risky and scary? Because saying yes to one thing means saying no to others? Is it the surrendering, the separation and departures that you fear because of the pain of loss? Do you believe that joy can come after sorrow? Are you willing to give yourself and the process some time in order to gradually see all things in the light of your life’s vocation?

I’m afraid that if I become a religious I’ll life a loveless life.
Are you contrasting religious life with marriage? Do you believe that to live without a spouse and a family means love is impossible, that it means isolation and loneliness? Doesn’t God intend all people to be loved and to love? Obviously, it will be different than in marriage, but have you really thought about how religious consecrated to God live a love-filled life?

I’m afraid of making a permanent commitment.
Because of all the broken commitments you see around you? Does permanence seem impossible to you? Because saying yes to one thing means saying no to all other options in life? Do you expect to feel trapped living in a religious community? Are you thinking that you are committed as soon as you enter a community? Do you trust God; are you able to take a risk with God? Do you believe that God has graces waiting for you beyond your “yes”? Do you have the courage to take a leap of faith?

I’ll be unhappy in religious life.
Because you presume the life of a Sister is unhappy; that it’s impossible to be truly satisfied in religious life? What brings happiness? Isn’t true happiness found in learning to make a sincere gift of self? Do you see that at the center of the life of a religious Sister is a real person, with a face, with a name – Jesus, who is Himself the fullness of life and joy?

I’m not worthy to become a Sister.
Because you’re not good enough, not pious enough, not holy enough? Do memories of sins stand in the way? Does your past make you feel hypocritical? Do you think that God’s mercy and forgiveness are only temporary? Do you feel unlovable? Does the fact that you are beloved by God seem impossible? Do you feel unworthy because you still need to make a sincere effort to live a virtuous life? Is it because you focus too much on yourself and remain unaware of how much God loves you at every moment? Do you realize that everyone is unworthy, but that God chooses who He wishes, how He wishes, and when He wishes? That He – not ourselves – is the one who makes us worthy?

I’ll be wasting my talent.
Because you won’t be able to follow your dreams? Because you may not be able to use your gifts and talents as you wish? Because you’ve invested so much time and money into a particular career and it seems absurd to seemingly throw it all away? Have you thought about the fact that when you give back to God, when you place your gifts and talents in His hands, nothing is ever wasted? Do you love the Giver more than His gifts?

“Dear young people, do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away and gives you everything.
When we give ourselves to Him we receive a hundred-fold in return.
Yes, open wide the doors to Christ and you will find true life.”
– Pope Benedict –

DISCERNMENT…WHAT IS IT?

After honestly looking at things that might have been holding you back from sincerely considering whether God is calling you to a religious vocation, and from the fruit of your prayer and the promptings of the Holy Spirit, perhaps you’ve decided and now are ready to enter into a sincere, intentional discernment process.

But, what is discernment? The word “discernment” comes from a Latin word which means “to separate.” To sort out what leads to God and His desire for you and your complete happiness, and what leads away.

We have many different desires within. Some of our desires are meant to be fulfilled. Others not. Or, they may be fulfilled in different ways that we never imaged. Discernment is meant to help us dig down to the deepest desires of our heart that God has placed there for us.

God is constantly speaking to us, acting in our daily life, loving us in the concrete situations we face.
Discernment is the practice of learning how to recognize his voice, his hand, his love in what we experience each day. Discernment is about sifting through the “noise” of life – and often the negative and contrary distractions that come with it – to find the gentle voice of God.

Discernment implies taking time to really pray and reflect in order to discover the unique plan of God. This takes openness to the path God points out. If you sincerely seek your path, God will be with you and He will never abandon you.

ARE YOU READY TO DISCERN?

Are you ready to make a good discernment? Do you really want to get to the bottom of things? If you’ve read this far, probably yes. Good for you. It can take courage to stand on the threshold of serious discernment!

YOU ARE COMMITTED

Are you prepared to really commit to your discernment process, to see it through so you can reach a conclusion and avoid falling into a vague “perpetual discernment” state that persists month after month, year after year? If you’re not intentional and sort of allow yourself to wander aimlessly, you’ll never cross the “stormy sea” to the “calm shore.” You want to escape a state of unfocused confusion and the hazy thought about a call to religious life that’s floating around in your head. Make a commitment to discern and see it through.

YOU HAVE REFLECTED ON SOME FOUNDATIONAL QUESTIONS

Do you think about the questions in the third section: Some Questions to Seriously Ponder? If not, go back to those. They are foundational questions. You need to apprehend the truth as you start on your discernment journey in order to progress more securely and with fewer detours. Talk to a priest or some other wise person who can help you. Read Scripture. Read the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Reflect on the fact that God is a God of love – God IS love, that you were created deliberately, thoughtfully, intentionally by God – willed, wanted, called into being and good. You are His beloved and He delights in you. Reflect on the fact that He desires your happiness even more than you do! He knows you more deeply than you know yourself and He has a path, a gift, a vocation, a purpose in mind for you.

YOU ARE INDIFFERENT

One of the prerequisites for discernment is “indifference.” Not in the sense of not caring! But in the sense that you’re detached enough to discern. Holy indifference means you can be at peace with whatever God shows you in your discernment, regardless of the outcome. It means you’re ready for the answer, whether it is yes or no. Such an attitude makes you truly available to God and allows Him to lead you. You are prepared to discern, or are close to it, when you’re ready to follow God’s will whatever direction it leads. If don’t feel you’ve arrived at that point yet, ask God to help you with that.

YOU ARE PREPARED TO PUT IT THE TIME

Are you prepared to give time to an intentional process? The goal is to move from questions, to understanding, to a decision. This takes time: in prayer, in reflecting, asking questions and in talking to others. Discernment takes time, but perpetual discernment is NOT a vocation! It shouldn’t take forever!

Start out by giving serious consideration to the question of a religious vocation for six months. This doesn’t mean you’re putting a time limit on yourself or on God. It’s just a reasonable, concrete, specific time period to be intentional, to devote dedicated time to prayer, reflection and learning, and to take the necessary concrete steps to bring clarity to your questions. By the end of the six months, you’ll probably have a good idea whether you should stop discerning a call to religious life, or whether you should continue the discernment process, perhaps with a particular religious community.

If your thinking is clear and correct, you know yourself to be truly loved by God, and you’ve come to believe that, in His goodness, His plan for your life is joy, you’re ready to discern. Trust Him, put in the time, and be committed to the process. God will lead you.

WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT… YOU’RE NOT ALONE

When we struggle with such a major question as a vocation decision, we can feel alone. If you’re beginning a journey regarding your vocation, please know there are many others feeling the same sort of stirring in their heart to delve deeper into what the Lord is asking. Also, many people are praying for you daily when they offer prayers for those discerning their vocation. It is also encouraging to realize that those in religious life have been where you are. They understand; and they, too, support you with their prayers.

BE CLEAR ABOUT WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY DISCERNING

YOU’RE NOT DISCERNING BETWEEN RELIGIOUS LIFE AND MARRIAGE

First of all, to make a good discernment, you discern one thing at the time. If you think God may be calling you to religious life, you enter into a process to discern a religious vocation. You’re not discerning between marriage and religious life, you’re discerning between “Yes” to religious life or “No” to religious life.

BY THE WAY, DATING…

Because of this, it is not helpful at all to be dating or in a relationship at the same time as you are in the process of trying to discern a religious vocation. Dating is part of the process to discern a vocation to marriage. Talk about confusion and creating “muddy waters” – not only for you but for your boyfriend! It’s unfair. Why is this important? If you’re not emotionally free you can’t make a genuine discernment about religious life. If you really want to get to the bottom of things, really discover whether God is calling you to religious life or not, put dating aside for the time being and totally give yourself over to the discernment process in the time frame proposed. Reduce the confusion so you can find clarity. It will be easier in the long run.

YOU’RE DISCERNING TO
ENTER RELIGIOUS LIFE, NOT TO MAKE PERPETUAL VOWS

Sometimes people hesitate because entering a community seems like such a big step. And it is! But be clear. Discerning to enter the convent is not discerning to profess vows. You don’t make an immediate life commitment as soon as you walk through the door! That comes much later and there’s a long journey in between. You don’t enter a religious community because you have finished discerning, but because you would like to continue discerning in a more serious way. In and through the various stages of initial formation you further explore and confirm your call to religious life. Don’t get confused on this point; it will add to the confusion.

A ROAD MAP FOR YOUR DISCERNMENT JOURNEY

The discernment process may seem confusing but there are particular actions and steps you can take to make it easier and ensure you make a good discernment. Some of these occur at the same time; some continue throughout the discernment process. Be patient; listen for the Holy Spirit. God will lead you to the right place at the right time.

DAILY PERSONAL PRAYER

You’re probably already praying. Continue to pray; work to deepen your prayer life. Prayer is a principal prerequisite for making a good discernment. Prayer is not just saying prayers. It’s a conversation with God, speaking to Him from your heart. Trust completely that God has a plan for you and ask Him to reveal it to you.

IT’S ABOUT RELATIONSHIP

Prayer is all about relationship. It’s about allowing yourself to be loved by God and loving Him in return. To begin to answer the question: “How do I know? How do I know what God wants?”, you must be in a relationship with Him. You can’t say YES to God until you get to know HIM, not just about Him. You must spend time together to grow in your relationship. Through your deepening friendship you will be able to discern your life’s vocation with greater clarity and less confusion. Sometimes clarity comes in a flash; more often it’s a gradual realization. It’s up to God how He wants to reveal His plan to you. In any case, remember: Prayer is the foundation for discerning your vocation and deepening your relationship with Christ.

LISTEN IN SILENCE

A prerequisite for an authentic prayer, being able to really hear God’s voice, is silence. God doesn’t post your vocation in neon lights on a gigantic sign. You have to listen deeply within yourself to perceive His quiet movement in your heart.

Listening is an art that must be learned. The inner stillness necessary to hear with your heart starts with exterior stillness. You can listen best when you remove yourself from the things that distract and compete for your attention, like cell phones, computers, traffic, radio, and so on. Place yourself in an environment of silence where you can hear God more easily; find a quiet place without distractions in which to pray.

Yes, silence, exterior and interior, may be challenging at first, but persevere. God does speak in the stillness of the heart. Don’t be concerned so much with what you should do or think when you pray. Above all, desire to BE in God’s presence; allow Him to be the one who acts. As you learn the art of inner stillness, continue to reflect as your day unfolds. God frequently uses ordinary people, circumstances and events to speak to us, too.

PRAY WITH SCRIPTURE

Scriptures is the living Word of God inspired by the Holy Spirit. To get to know God become familiar Sacred Scriptures. Start by reading the Gospels. Christ speaks about Himself to us powerfully through the words of Sacred Scripture. Every day, read a little bit of the Bible and talk with Jesus as you would talk to a best friend.

PRAY DAILY

Taking time for daily personal prayer is a “must have.” Take time to talk in your own words, to meditate, journal, maybe sing songs… You might find it helpful to make a prayer “place” in your home or in your room. It doesn’t have to be a very big space. It could be as small as a window sill on which you place a religious picture or other religious items. It can be very helpful to have a dedicated place set aside where you can focus your attention during your prayer time.

One Way to Pray with Scripture

Preparation

1) Make a commitment to pray daily. Decide on an amount of time you’ll devote to personal prayer, and when you’ll pray. Make sure it’s a reasonable amount of time. In other words, if you’re just starting out and not used to extended periods of personal mental prayer, don’t decide on an entire hour to begin! Before long you’re likely to give up. Also, it’s usually best to pray in the morning before your mind gets filled with things that can distract you. Regardless, decide on a time that fits your life and when you can give your best attention. Decide on when and how much – then KEEP to the commitment!

2) Select the Scripture text that you will use for your prayer. You might use a reading from the Mass of the day.

3) Before you enter into prayer, seek inner stillness and block out distractions. Recall God’s presence with you. Pray to Holy Spirit for help.

Prayer

4) Read the Scripture text slowly. If you can, read it aloud. The Word is God speaking to you. As you read, listen for a word or a phrase that catches your attention. Slowly read the text again. Listen for the Lord. If nothing strikes you, move on to read the next passage until something catches your attention.

5) Use your thoughts and imagination to ponder the text: “Who is Jesus speaking to? What is Jesus telling them? What is He telling me? Why did this word or phrase catch my attention?” Maybe re-read the passage. When the text speaks to your heart, you have reached and received a precious fruit of mediation.

6) Then, talk to God about what came up in your prayer. Talk in a personal, spontaneous way. Pray with your heart, not just your mind. Have a heart-to-heart talk with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Share with God your desires, vulnerability, strengths, weaknesses, fears, plans, dreams, and so on. As often as your mind wanders, simply turn it back to God and continue. Your words don’t have to be many or pretty. For example, it may be enough to say/repeat: “Thank you for telling me this.” “Help me to live out this message.” “I’m sorry for my failings.” “I love you!”

7) Then just listen attentively to hear God speaking to you. Respond silently, with love more than with words, rejoicing in God’s love and care for you. Just BE in God’s presence.

Follow-Up

8) Either immediately or later on, review your prayer. Write in your journal, not only about your prayer, but how you felt as you prayed. Journaling can help you see where God is working. It can also be immensely helpful when you meet with your spiritual director.

9) Recall your prayer time throughout the day – perhaps just that key word or phrase that stood out to you. Be aware of what you hear and see, what you think and feel as you go through your day. Remember, God speaks also speaks to us through the ordinary things of our lives – people, events, the circumstances that arise. Learn to live with a listening heart.

ASK YOUR HEAVENLY MOTHER FOR HELP

Mary is the ultimate example of openness to the will of God. Our Blessed Mother wants to help you discover God’s will for your life. Ask her assistance; you will certainly receive it. Entrust yourself to Mary and ask her to take you under her maternal care. Pray her rosary. Pray three Hail Marys every day, specifically to know your vocation, to be open to it, and to have the courage to follow it.

THE EUCHARIST AND CONFESSION

Another essential way to grow in your relationship with God is through the Sacraments. Regular reception of the Eucharist and Reconciliation will give you the spiritual strength and clarity you need to discern well. A sincere search for God’s path for you will lead you to the sacraments.

HOLY SACRIFICE OF THE MASS

Of course, you will attend Mass every Sunday and Holy Day of obligation. But it’s also important to make an effort to attend Mass during the week when possible. Understandably, sometimes school and work schedules don’t make that possible. When you receive Communion, ask Jesus to show you your vocation.

“Persons who attend Mass, receive Communion, 
and invoke Christ in the Blessed Sacrament obtain light and strength that no one else has a claim to.” – Fr. John Hardon

EUCHARISTIC ADORATION

Eucharistic adoration is another way to build your relationship with God. After all, the Eucharist is Christ Himself! Find some time to visit the Blessed Sacrament and spend time with the Lord. Try to do so weekly. You can make a short visit, but maybe make a holy hour when you can. We have no idea how many graces God grants through Eucharistic adoration!

RECONCILIATION

We can’t see clearly when the window is covered in dirt or hear God’s voice when we’re locked in a sound-proof room. We must be cleansed of sin through Confession so we can be in union with God, so we can see clearly and hear what rings true. Get into the practice of going to confession frequently – at least once a month. The Holy Spirit works powerfully when you approach the sacrament of Reconciliation with humility and openness. Prepare for the sacrament by making a good examination of conscience and do not be afraid or embarrassed to confess your sins honestly to a priest. It is an opportunity to trust more in God’s mercy than in your own sinfulness. To protect your friendship and remain in your close relationship with God, live a moral life, desire to remain in the state of grace, and practice the virtues.

SELF-REFLECTION

Besides an examination of conscience in preparation for Confession, get into the practice of taking a few minutes to examine yourself daily, reflecting on your interior life before the Lord. Self-reflection is critical. This daily examination should never be just to uncover your sins and failings. It is that, but it should also be a time in which you consciously recognize the goodness of God and His blessings and graces that have come to you throughout the day. Self-reflection also allows deep questions and concerns within to rise to the surface where you can face them with honesty and God’s grace. All of this makes you a traveler fit for the journey.

TRAVEL WITH A GUIDE

Trying to discern God’s call in life can be a challenge, as you probably have already discovered. But you don’t have to do it alone! We’re not meant to discern alone. (This doesn’t mean we should ask advice from a lot of different people!) A guide on the journey – a spiritual director – is crucial for discerning your vocation. You need one. Get one!

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?

It’s important because some questions can only be answered by asking someone. If you have a spiritual director, you have someone with whom you can discuss any fears or obstacles you identified above. This helps separate fact from fiction.

But even more, we can’t always trust our own feelings. Discerning our true motivations on our own is difficult. A spiritual director can see more objectively and clearly than we can. They can “stand above the fog” we often encounter on our discernment journey.

A spiritual director, being outside yourself, can help you begin to recognize God’s voice more easily as God works in your life. Discerning the action of the Holy Spirit is much easier with the help of sound spiritual guidance.

Having to articulate to someone else what’s going on inside often helps you better understand yourself, and what God is doing in you. By walking your journey with a guide, God’s action will come to light more clearly than just ruminating on your own.

WHO MIGHT YOU ASK?

It could be a priest or a religious Sister since both have the experience of living a religious vocation. Look for someone who has experience with the spiritual life and understands the principles of discernment. You want someone who is competent to help you on your spiritual journey exploring God’s presence in your life. A religious Sister, if available, may be particularly helpful in answering the questions you have because she has lived the life.

The spiritual director’s primary role is to listen to the movement of grace in your life. The foundation of this relationship must be trust and honesty. It shows humility and a sincere desire to see clearly God’s will in your life.

Commit to meeting with your spiritual director regularly. Be open to receiving the guidance given to you. Listen to your spiritual director. Don’t just vent and then not follow their advice.

SOMETHING ELSE THAT MIGHT BE HELPFUL…

If there is a group in session and you’re interested, you might consider joining a discernment group. That can really help alleviate some of the anxiety because you’re with people who are going through the same thing you are!

GET GOOD INFORMATION

To discover your vocation, it’s necessary to have good information. Do your homework. As you go, take what you learn back to prayer.

LEARN ABOUT RELIGIOUS COMMUNITIES ONLINE

Check out the Institute on Religious Life (https://religiouslife.com/) and the Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious (https://cmswr.org/). They list several religious communities and have discernment resources.

READ ABOUT RELIGIOUS LIFE

To get started, check out:

• Catechism of the Catholic Church
• On the Dignity and Vocation of Women by Pope St. John Paul II
• Essential Elements of Religious Life by the Sacred Congregation for Religious and for Secular Institutes
• Redemptionis Donum by Pope St. John Paul II
• Vita Consecrata by Pope St. John Paul II
• Perfectae Caritatis from Vatican Council II
• And You Are Christ’s by Father Thomas Dubay
• When God Asks for an Undivided Heart by Father Andrew Apostoli, CFR
• A Right to Be Merry by Mother Mary Francis, PCC

READ ABOUT DISCERNMENT AND SPIRITUAL DIRECTION

• Discerning the Will of God by Father Timothy Gallagher, OMI
• The Discernment of Spirits by Father Timothy Gallagher, OMI
• Navigating the Interior Life by Daniel Burke
• Also, see the two websites for religious mentioned above.

TALK TO SISTERS

Just ask to talk to a Sister that you know or that you’ve seen around. Ask some of your questions about what religious life really is, and what it’s like to live as a religious Sister. They’ll be happy to respond to any of your questions.

You might want to contact the vocation director of a religious community. She can also answer your specific questions and ease fears and doubts. It is particularly helpful to speak with a vocation director since she is someone who lives the joys and challenges of religious life day in and day out, but who has also helped others in the discernment process. A vocation director can help you further listen to what God is calling you to.

VISIT RELIGIOUS COMMUNITIES

An important part of acquiring good, reliable information is to also actually visit religious communities. Only so many questions can be answered through the internet, or even over the phone. At some point you need to personally experience the environment and encounter the community. For some, this idea might seem intimidating, but remember, all the Sisters in any community that you visit have been in your shoes! They know what it’s like to make the discernment journey!

Identify a few communities (3-5) that you are attracted to. Begin by looking at communities that might be around you. Also consider those from your online research. Take the step to contact the vocation director for the community for a visit and/or about participating in day or evening events that the community offers.

You may be invited to “try the life” for a weekend (or longer), perhaps for a retreat. If the saying, “seeing is believing” is true, then an experience such as this may be the thing that sets all of the confusion straight. These weekend events are a chance to learn about and experience, to a degree the religious life. Usually you’ll participate in liturgical prayer, Holy Mass, adoration, meals and recreation, and time for personal prayer. You’ll also be able to meet other young women who are discerning their own call from God.

Don’t get caught up in a bunch of expectations or preconceived ideas for yourself or the community before you even step through the door, no matter for what event. Just be open and receptive. Relax! Let God move freely. Remember, there is no obligation of any kind when you initially explore religious life. It’s part of the process of understanding how God is speaking to your heart.

You might need to visit religious communities you’re attracted to more than once. Just like it takes time spent together to get to know someone, even God, so it takes time to get to know a religious community. Get to know about the community and a little about its charism. Get to know some of the Sisters themselves. By actually visiting communities your understanding – and your own heart – can grow in ways otherwise impossible.

ENGAGE IN SERVICE

It is good for the soul to participate in some form of serve as you engage in the discernment process. It helps keep a balance in life by looking outward in the service of others at a time when a lot of focus and energy are focused inward. If not serving already, explore how you can participate in the Catholic community, be involved in some parish or other religious-sponsored activity, or offer service to the poor. Service expands the heart and creates a greater capacity for God.

MAKE A DECISION AND FOLLOW THROUGH

At the end of your intentional period of discernment you will likely have a good idea of your next move. In any case, you have to make a decision. The gift of the graces you have received are useless if you just stand immobile at the fork in the road or on the high dive staring down into the water. Based on what you’ve learn through the facets of your discernment process, you’ll stop discerning a religious vocation, you’ll determine a time period to take a break and then make a new discernment if you didn’t reach sufficient clarity, or you’ll discern further with a particular religious community, and perhaps apply to enter. So, when the time comes, you must act! Move in the direction your discerning heart tells you, confident that God will never point you in a direction in which his grace cannot sustain you! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain as long as you stay open to God throughout the process.

Once again, remember, you’re discerning a call to a religious vocation; you’re not discerning to immediately profess perpetual vows! Several years of further, even deeper discernment take place before that happens. You will have even more time to grow and discern before you make a commitment.

If you’ve discerned that God is pointing you toward religious life, and you’ve reached your decision to say YES, the next step is to begin a dialogue with the vocation director with this intention in mind. The vocation director will guide you through the next phase step-by-step.

If you discover that God is calling you to be a religious, it is because this is the way God has marked out for you – for your joy, for your sanctification, for the sanctification of others, and for His glory. If He is calling you, be generous, say YES, for truly, “In His will is our peace!” Do not be afraid!

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